Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
