Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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