Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
