dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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