Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just found a bag of teeth...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
MIDGETS
????
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
