And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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