A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
