Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
