I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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