oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
