I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
