It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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