he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
