I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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