is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
