I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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