I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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