dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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