sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
