That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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