Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
