You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
