She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My first STD was from a foam party
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
