It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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