Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
