i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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