lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
