Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
