The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
