gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
