Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
