Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
