how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
