i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
