counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
