I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
