Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
