is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
