someone get that fucking seahorse.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
