Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
