left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
