come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
