you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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