let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
