the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
