Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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