Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
