so that wasnt chicken after all
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
