Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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