Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
