I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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