This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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