I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
